Thought before action: I have said I like to run, want to run, & considered starting for ....a while. Did not know what would motivate me to go into action. "Stop waiting" is my current operating motto and tonight I got started, but it helps to have company. I probably would be sitting here feeling this good and intending to go back out tomorrow, or later this week sometime, or maybe the next, but not with this type of certain intent that I have now. Company helps! A goal would help too, but for now I just want to be out running, build some endurance, & cut my corners to see how quickly I can reach "fast"

Point of running is to be fast, because otherwise as proven to be the case I am a perfectly happy walker. Nay, say, a happy meander-er. When I say I want to be fast I mean that I want to get away. Or, the other way around. To chase.

As for the company. Ee! It is a good uncertain intent. Don't know if it will be running -business, -friends, or -flirtation. He is not off the bat flirtatious. All to the good, that, since my pitch is currently set to strike any batters out. His schedule is to run 3x/week Mon-Wed-Friday. Tonight we did about 2 miles, but I believe that he usually does more then that. (will see if adopting some of another's perseverance helps me)

My onerous task for the weekend: closet inventory. Cutbacks are necessary. I have grown weary of the mountain of laundry that does not make an impression. Simply put - I do not have to keep up with it because there is still plenty of clean items to add to the pile! Put into practice - I *should* have to keep up! Bad when wrinkled laundry comes out still wrinkled.

I am having a bit of Malbec for the trouble.

My Thanksgiving dinner was quite palatable in company and coursework. Turkey, per expected attended. Vegan (cousin Connor), per expected attended. Somehow "a balanced table" was achieved. My favorite dish was a mashed sweet potato-apple-cinnamon-nutmeg. At TG dinner I like to add cranberries to everything, but Aunt Sharon (hostess) misplaced the cranberry bowl until dessert! Mmmm, cranberries with pumpkin cheesecake and apple-blueberry pie...

I really enjoy hanging out with good friends and talking over coffee in the morning! Thanks guys.

EVP or Bradbury's? I do have a preference for EVP...

Swiped from Cycropia's website (under other workshops):

Intro to Low-flying Trapeze for adults/teens--In MADISON, GOODMAN COMMUNITY CENTER: 5:45-7 p.m. Wednesdays, Jan. 6-Feb. 24, 2010 This class will cover the basics of hanging, dangling, flying and floating on single-point, low-flying trapezes and other aerial apparatus. Build strength while having fun; release tension and find length and space in the spine, shoulders and neck. $90 for six week session.

I can swing like a monkey and I want to swing like an astronaut in a gyroscope!

Now I really should get myself into a gym for some preparatory exercise...

Dream: I was at a fantasy enactment convention. Yes, there were quite a variety of far-fetched fantasies in this dream convention I had a good time looking around, but then I stumbled in with a group that wanted to role play Tolkien so we were in a gym, my elementary school gym, and lined up with swords and everything else. By the time I was waking up it had become clear that we actually had been enlisted to fight a war overseas. I was running around the hotel doing my best to miss the boat. Even in my dreams I just can't run like I used to! Was caught and woke up before anything else could happen.

Japaneses siphon coffee: brews a decent cup.

For all that, the price is steep enough that I am not acquiring the habit... 8$/pot serving two. At least the two or three people served is a good amount. I would have struggled to drink the whole pot. Neat process!

So, I am going up Nord this weekend for a visit with my folks, but I don't leave until later in the evening on Friday...

Anyone interested in a morning cup of coffee with me? Friday morning (early!) I want to stop in at Bradbury's on Hamilton St. up by the capital.... http://www.yelp.com/biz/bradburys-madison

My goal is try their Japanese siphon coffee which is aimed at serving 2-3 people and not just 1 -- thus far I have not tried it because, well, most mornings I am more concerned with going to sleep!

Bradbury's (which, oh, I am pimping now) is owned by a pretty couple named Jill and Josh. Jill is in my sewing class Thursday nights. This coffee/crepe cafe is situated on a triangle corner opposite from ChaCha's on Mifflin St. It has v. sweet windows for watching the world go by. Most mornings the guy behind the counter is Josh. Also, they serve me alcohol before 7am; so, yeah, I am liking the joint immensely-a-lot!

So the night guys have to creep around as softly as possible or the cops get called for noise disturbance. How about those day guys doing construction outside my window? Wish that it were reasonable to call the cops on them for their noise disrupting my sleep. I am unwillingly awake and shaky weak like a vampire forced out during the day.

Days when I hate negotiating the truth of my alternate lifestyle. Thanks again Mr. Landlord

This one is not a surprise. The house party. I anticipated it. The whole process of invite, RSVP, wait for the day, and getting myself out the door produces plenty of anxiety. Admittedly I do not look forward to facing every person at the party. Yet for some reason I need to circulate and have a nodding acquaintance with everyone present. Very concerned with achieving the 'good time.' Is this natural or normal behavior? I don't know. Would prefer to chill. Would prefer avoiding some trite one-liners.

So it amounts to "pouncing" on as many people as possible. Often this is an awkward, forced feat. And, depending on the crowd, I become unable to settle into even the semblance of a conversation. Disjointed. Distracted. Disturbed. In any case, after a period of discomfort I think I arrived at almost chill last night (on the inside). Graphing a dip, a rise and not really any fall. Back to neutral this morning.

***
Happy Halloween! List
sewing to finish the Oct 3rd skirt, reminder to eat real food before lots of candy, and hopefully a walk this afternoon. evening plans = vaguely set

This morning at work it occurred to me that I have been *unusually* even in temperament of late (a good few weeks!). Has my convenient memory glossed over *usual* skips and snags? Have I really been calmer? Where are my ups and downs at? Chasing this observation came the superstitious suspicion that soon a quake would shake this stable footing; for surely that is my usual? A premonition of the turn for better or worse, but of certain, some change, a quickening...

So - as I watch leaves in their descent twirl - I resolve to begin a new-to-me journaling endeavor. Shifts in energy state, temperament, moods versus the events that seem to touch upon the shifts -- this I am going to chart on the blank message board I keep in my hallway. I want to see a pattern even if oddly enough this even keel persists. Maybe I will be able to determine for myself what others have called "triggers"

Now for a follow through, haha

This introductory description of the MC's sidekick friend struck me as something I have noted (recognized) before:

"He leaned back in his chair. Derrick was one of those gay men who had once been unattractive and out-of-shape, but had managed to earn a pretty decent physique for himself through exercise (possibly) and dancing to house music (probably). But he still had that boyish uncertainty about his body that only comes when you remember what it was like to be the one picked last for the volleyball team, the one that nobody wanted to go to the prom with. That hesitation, that little flicker of discomfort and sheepishness, was damn attractive, and he knew it."

reading: Night Child, Jes Battis. Vampires and necromancers versus criminal forensics investigators....but I gotta break for work, eh

Mia caught another mouse today and answered my question of will I be finding corpses around the apartment. This time I came upon her too late to remove her catch. When I found her in the living room she was just finishing licking her chops clean. At least there are no visible stains on the carpet...minimal mess to clean up. What are the chances that she would agree to eating her catches in a dish with a bib on? Low and unlikely?

Donned my favorite orange zip-up hoodie and am now scrunching my nose. Smells like storage...

I have been putting plastic up over my windows and at the half way point (bedroom & half of LR done), I need a break. So, walk and groceries?

Nostalgia Sunday = listening to DJ Asche's WMSE show and pretending I am still in MKE wandering around an empty city. MKE downtown and by the lake always provided me with the solitude I wanted during the weekend's odd hours (like Sunday afternoons). To find company I came back to Madison or went out during the people-friendly hours.

lots to do at home & it drives me out the door!

oh, lest I forget again. Loved this movie: Blood Tea & Red String (Christiane Cegavske, 2006)
Older footage by Cegavske http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hphBoCKY-pY

A fragment of this song popped into my head this morning & stuck there playing in a loop. Finally after a very long time of not know who created it or what the song actually said I have looked it up.

Hey, I have seen these guys on the stage! ;)

Steel is circulating
The air is cold
Mirrors reflecting
The sky
Skyscrapers
Cover the sun
A huge machinery
Slowly rotates
I close my eyes
My thoughts become wings
I fly high in the sky
You are already waiting
We kiss us in the clouds
The future is rotating

The cold bites
All of us in uniforms
Like robots
Movements equated
Here is mind control
You're violating virtual morality
Corporal punishment
Sets in now
The pain pulsates
My thoughts become wings...

( Read more... )

Gave in to the drag of being wretchedly ill and spent the past 24-some invalid. Class tonight & work....call in sick? ...Or just push on through to the other side? This Saturday is sky-diving if health allows. Also, work.

This afternoon is better on legs that tremble, shake, stagger.

Once I got home from Lil's party I slept for a good few hours. Will call it good since that must have been enough for me...I woke up with the dawn before 5 and went out to the playground to read in the watchtower.

Most likely will sleep this evening before work.

So last night off was good. Talk-talk-talked and danced (of course). Now I have most of the day to fritter away. Okay. Okay. Off to fritter and loaf.

Yesterday/today long time wandering... I was on a bus fretting over my body's refusal to stay bed bound when I overheard two men talking. "You got beat for free?" "Yus, I got wupped." I really wanted to hear all the words in this conversation, but my rabbit ears did not extend far enough out. Thought I heard something about gangs and 4 boards at a time. My imagination flitted to a fight club scene wherein a bunch of raggedy gray men were endorsing each other in shadow boxing, trading fat lips for black eyes and happily holding up lost teeth trophies (as one of them had gap mouthed smile). Not so, the second guy proceeded to say, "I castled too late, and he got me. Just wasn't paying attention."

Competitive chess players! The first guy said something more about money and parting chumps from their change when they thought that they could beat him in a game (when of course he was a master of the board). Wonder if there is a park where these guys lurk during good weather... My neighborhood in Milwaukee has a dog park with chessboard tables; small thing to miss.

The weekend was all to much fun for the attired restless me. Good and all too short. I danced in latex and did not mind overmuch. It did fail at midnight...

Happy with a belly full of sushi. Happy after a little dancing. Only a little progress with the move. Oh well.

This stormy end of April has my approval!

I am moving again. GAH. Hopefully it is for the better. I have never fully relaxed at my current apartment although it has been an improvement over my last place...still rather miss walking to work.
This being the third time in 3 years that I have moved I should be better at this game. Because moving is such fun! I can not seem to do enough of it.

Fear[s] of the Dark, puh. Occasionally amusing and interesting, but for the most part a movie to be missed. That could also have been easily way better. Yes, if only they had had me to grab their heads and knock 'em together a few times. I would sort 'em out.

White on white is not a good look. Mayest as well just have watched a French movie sans subtitles. I strained my eyes trying to decipher the text.

Still! I love Orpheum movies and the bar guy at the Orpheum. Love walking in alone WAY early for the movie and then sitting in the dim theater. It is restful and time does not drag on me so painfully.

Probably going to another show next week...or sometime.